


It's Not your Fault

by LizzyRed



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Star Wars the clone wars season 7 finale, Star Wars: The Clone Wars Season 7 Spoilers, star wars the clone wars season 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24748411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzyRed/pseuds/LizzyRed
Summary: Alone on a frigid planet, Rex can't find sleep as Ahsoka gets some shut eye. There was too much on the captain's mind. Rex, now burying his once brothers in arms, is alone, and has time to think. Amidst a breakdown, he comes across what was the last thing he was expecting to find in the deep darkness of the cold planet's night.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	It's Not your Fault

**Author's Note:**

> This is just some idea i came up with late ate night/early in the morning (ikr, all nighters are wild for ideas) and I was like ooo yes! Ghost time!! I hope y'all like it!!
> 
> Also this contains HUGE spoilers for the Clone Wars season 7! Watch out!

The night air was cold.

The faint sounds of the crackling fire beside the shuttle could be heard in the near distance, followed by the whistling wind whipping by the metal of its wings. The fire was protected from the wind, at least as much as it could be, and the night grew incredibly cold. It would have been wiser to spend the night inside of the wreckage to at least break the wind, but there would be no point if the captain would never be able to find sleep.

Ahsoka had insisted he go inside and find a safe warm crook to sleep in, but he knew he couldn't do it. Not after what had happened. He wondered if he'd ever be able to again. It was all still hitting him in waves. First, he was just shocked. So much was happening so fast it was hard, even for him, to process all of it. Then, the sadness began to crash over him with a force he's never felt before. He couldn't let it settle and soak in before they were back to trying to fight for their lives.

Now, down on the ground, deep into the night, he found himself dragging the last body he hoped he ever had to drag for the rest of his life. The orange painted helmet was cracked, burned from reentry, as was half of the soldier's armor. There was a gaping tear in his armor from a piece of rubble impaling the man, leaving a bloody mess as Rex dragged him through the dirt. Ahsoka had dug the graves, but Rex insisted she got some rest. She wouldn't have obliged if she wasn't so utterly exhausted. And he highly doubted she wanted to see the dead faces off all the men she had fought alongside.

The men that tried to kill her…

He had tried to kill her. What would have happened if he succeeded? He wouldn't be able to live the rest of his life, knowing he'd pulled the trigger on his one closest friend. Right after she had just told him she couldn't have asked for a better friend…what a curse of perfect timing. If he had pulled the trigger and looked down upon her body, lying on the ground lifeless, cast aside like she was nothing, he didn't know what he'd do. He didn't want to consider that kind of possibility.

He had grown so used to seeing his own men dead. He had dragged so many of them into the shallow graves they had dug, and he was remembering all the times he watched a shiny get gunned down, yelping in surprise or screaming in pain. He had grown so desensitized to it, and for a while that didn’t feel so wrong.

But now…

Finding Jesse’s body felt like a sting in his soul. Jesse was his friend. His brother. Jesse was eccentric, happy, and ready for duty no matter the situation. He was always there. Rex thought for a moment, he always would be. For just a short time, it felt… solid again. At least as solid as it could. He had to drag Jesse out into the graveyard of dead brothers just as he did with the rest. What hurt the worst, and salted the wound, was a building, rising feeling inside of him. It was filling the pit in his stomach, bottling up in his chest and burning like he had been filled with boiling tar. It was caught in his throat, resonating within him with a hot pain. He laid Jesse’s body down in the grave, and for a moment he swore he felt a twitch. A breath of life. Some kind of hope, something to assure him in any possible way. He didn’t even know how it would assure him, Jesse would try to kill him. It didn’t matter if he was dead or alive now, it didn’t matter because he wasn’t Jesse. They all died the moment the chips activated.

He furrowed his eyebrows, placing two hands on either side of Jesse’s helmet, staring into the jet black glass. It wasn’t fair. It didn’t matter if he was dead or alive. It never mattered. They were just cogs in a great machine, just pawns in a big game where the bad guys won and there is no happy ending. He slowly pulled the cracked helmet off, staring down at his brother, eyes stuck half open and clouded over with the mist of death.

_ It never mattered. _

It never mattered. None of it ever mattered. All of the struggle. The battle. The war. The pain. He felt it burning in his chest, his heart beating with the speed of an automatic blaster. He reached out a trembling hand, resting his fingers on Jesse’s eyelids to close his eyes. His hand fell on Jesse’s chest, and Rex felt the overwhelming urge to just scream. He wanted to scream, to cry, to curse all the stars and suns and moons in a cold galaxy and never cared for him. Everything he’d ever fought for, ever believed in. All the brothers lost, the friends lost. The friendships built and broken. The blood, the sweat, the tears. The battle cries and mourning silence. Every single thing. Everything. Everything that made him means nothing.

And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

  


He should have listened to Fives.

  


_ Fives, _ he thought, feeling the pressure behind his eyes as the warm, stinging tears began to form. His hands were shaking, more than when he would have executed Krell. More than when the order was given. His entire being was shaking, trembling with the weight of the world and the lives and the friends he helped destroy, washing over him like a wave, threatening to drown him.

_ “I should have listened…” _ he muttered quietly, his trembling hands covering his face as he rested his head on Jesse’s body.

If he’d listened, maybe they wouldn’t be dead. Even without the force, he could just feel the soul crushing dread of what had to have happened while they were aboard that ship. Cody… Echo… all of his brothers… every single one. They turned against the leaders who put trust and faith in their men, and destroyed years, centuries of history and lives and people that amounted to  _ nothing. _ He felt the disturbance just as much as Ahsoka did. He couldn’t do anything but lay there amongst his dead brothers, tears streaming from his eyes, silent all except for his uneven breathing.

It all meant nothing.

  


“Captain?”

  


Rex jolted, sitting up instantly as his hand found his blaster, gripping it in a tight fist. His eyes immediately locked on a figure standing a few feet away from the graveyard, the shadow from the fire light obscuring them from Rex’s blurred vision. Rex quickly wiped his eyes, squinting as he made out a familiar silhouette. The voice was that of a clone, and the silhouette followed that of an arc trooper, standing tall and confident, helmet held firmly at their side. There was an aura of power, of aggression in the clone’s stance that felt so familiar, and yet their tone sounded shocked. Like they hadn’t seen him in a long time.

Rex blinked, his vision adjusting to the light as he saw the wide brown eyes staring at him, bright in an almost eerie way. The beams of moonlight made it almost seem like it was a projection from the rays of light, like a realistic hologram, almost glistening, and a shadow that didn’t quite match. Despite the chill he felt in his back, the presence was friendly and familiar.

Rex’s eyes widened when he made out the details. The armor, painted blue, the familiar presence and stance, and the small marking on the side of his head, tattooed onto his temple.

_ 5 _

“Fives…?”

The word escaped Rex’s lips in a breath, barely audible. He was frozen, his chest tight and his hands trembling still. The trooper stood before him, looking still young, unwavering in his stance of strength and honor. He stood like he was undefeated. He learned that from Rex. But here and now, Rex was on the ground, giving up and giving in as his entire world fell apart around him, and he no longer had control over anything. The control he did have didn’t even matter anyway.

“...Rex,” Fives said quietly.

Rex didn’t know what to say. He could ask a million questions, but still, a part of his mind told him it was a hallucination or some kind of false vision. It wasn’t really Fives standing there before him… but what if…

“I…” Rex stammered. “...I can’t… Fives!”

Rex struggled to stand up, his body sore and exhausted. The wound in his shoulder was still in a lot of pain. He looked tired, and in the shadows cast by the moonlight, he looked older.

“You’re… you were right,” Rex said. “You were right. I should have listened to you. I should have…”

Rex realized how short of breath he was. He was dizzy, but he still stayed standing. Fives closed his eyes as he sighed, looking down at the ground with a somber expression.

“I know…”

Rex could see the sadness in his eyes. Fives’ glance flicked toward the graves, and Rex turned around to look upon the lines of pits filled with the bodys of their dead brothers. Rex watched closely as Fives took a step, almost as if he wasn’t sure at first, staring at Jesse. He then walked slowly and cautiously toward the grave, standing at the foot of the pit and staring down at his fallen comrade. Jesse looked tired and pale, ashen from the hours of being trapped underneath smoking rubble.

“...It really ain't fair, huh?” Fives said quietly.

Rex glanced down at Jesse, staring at him silently for a long moment.

“No…” Rex said. “It isn’t… but nobody cares that it isn’t… and the people that do care can’t do anything about it…”

There was a long moment of silence. The wind seemed to have died down to a soft breeze, albeit colder. It pierced right through Rex’s armor, making him shiver.

“If I had a credit for every single thing we lost that doesn’t matter anymore,” Fives said, still staring down at Jesse. His eyes burned with a repressed anger Rex could feel. “I could rule the whole kriffing galaxy.”

“Fives…” Rex said quietly. He stepped toward him, reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder. He hesitated, stopping his hand before making contact. For a reason he could not explain, he did not want to touch Fives. He didn’t want to try. He stepped back, keeping his distance.

“I’m… I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Fives said flatly. He was still staring at Jesse.

“I should have listened to you,” Rex said. He sounded like anger was beginning to flow into his voice, but he was only angry at himself.

“It’s no one’s fault. No one here,” Fives said, looking at Rex. “Not you. Not me. Not the Jedi. It’s the chancellor.”

“I could have done  _ something, _ ” Rex said. He was feeling that burning feeling again. “I should have done something-”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know!”

Rex was almost shouting.

“I don’t know, Fives, but I could have done  _ something!  _ I could have pressed Anakin for an investigation, or could have pressed to get the damn chips removed! Something!”

“Rex-”

“This could have been stopped if I just listened to you- if we all listened! I didn’t believe you! And NOW look where we are!!”

Rex was yelling. Fives looked nervous, but didn’t try to stop him.

“I’m on a freezing moon in the middle of deep space nowhere with Ahsoka, who was only able to save ME, Fives! Only me! And now all my brothers are either dead, or killing anything I’ve ever trusted and- and fought for and LIVED for and everything I was CREATED for! And now it’s all GONE! It’s all GONE, Fives!”

Tears were streaming down his face again.

“And I could have stopped it! I could have! We could have! You could have- we could have prevented everything!”

Rex collapsed on his knees, exhausted. He was trembling, covering his face with his hands. Fives was still for a long moment, but he dropped his helmet on the ground, approaching Rex slowly. He knelt down, putting a hand on Rex’s back. Rex could barely feel his hand, but he could feel his presence.

“They’re all gone, Fives…” Rex said, his voice trembling. “Everyone… all of our brothers… the generals… Anakin…just… gone…”

“Yeah…” Fives said quietly. “But listen, captain… it’s not your fault. We were all made for this to happen. The system was broken from the get-go, you didn’t break it any more.”

There was a moment of silence.

“In fact, captain…” Fives said. “Since you’re still around, being a loose cog… maybe you can break the machine in a different way. Tear it down. Build from the ground up something… I dunno…”

Fives looked up at the moon, a somber expression on his face.

“Something… worth fighting for. That… really means something…”

Rex wiped the tears from his eyes, glancing up at Fives. Fives seemed lost in his own head for a moment, but he then looked down at Rex as he said, “Listen, sir… Rex… you have to keep living on from here. Find something worth living for. Worth fighting for.”

He paused for a moment looking Rex dead in the eyes.

“Worth dying for.”

Rex was silent for a long moment. He then furrowed his brow in determination, nodding. Fives smiled. It was a wide, crooked grin Rex missed for far too long. Fives was startled slightly when Rex pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry, Fives…” Rex said. “I wish I could have saved you…”

“It… heh,” Fives said. “It’s alright, sir. I was the one who put up the shield, wasn’t I? What an idiot I am…”

Rex let Fives go, and they both stood back up, Rex brushing the dirt off of his armor as Fives took a step back. Fives stood up straight, saluting. Rex nodded in acknowledgement, and Fives gave him another crooked grin as he said, “Thank you for saving Echo, sir. Even if he’s living through this hell, at least he’s living at all.”

“If I could tell him you said hello, I would,” Rex said, smiling back. “If you see Jesse… wherever you are… tell him I said he’s promoted to commander.”

“Sir, yes sir,” Fives said.

Rex watched as he stepped back, hesitating for a moment. He then turned toward the darkness of the expanse of cold desert surrounding them. He began marching, off into the cold, dark oblivion, the wind taking him back into the moon beams he had come from as he disappeared into the darkness. Rex watched until he couldn’t see Fives any longer, and his warm smile faded slowly as he was left alone.

  


Alone.

  


He felt so alone.

  


\----

  


The wind blew a frigid breeze as Ahsoka stood amongst the graves of her men. Her cloak blew in the cold gusts, whistling and encasing her in a bitter tomb of desolation. The helmets swayed as they hung on their posts, honoring the brave and valiant men she had once known, and now knew they’d be forgotten. They would be left to this bitter landscape, to be buried in the snow and to never see the blazing sun of battle again.

But she would never forget these men.

She couldn't.

She held her lightsaber out in her hand. Anakin had given this to her. Her master… her mentor…

Her friend.

He had fallen to the dark side. She thought she knew him. If she had just told someone… talked to him… maybe he’d be here. Maybe she’d be with him again. Maybe they would finally be able to live a life of peace. But in a world like this, peace hardly exists in the quells of politicians and power. Now the gift from her once good friend was a festering wound in her hand, a physical reminder of everything that could have ever gone wrong, and everything she could and could not have done.

She let it fall from her hand, letting it go into the snow. It fell with a dull thud, and she felt the crushing weight of the galaxy fall on her shoulders. She had to stand up straight and tall, taking one last look at the rows of pits filled with the bodies of friends. Of brothers. She would not let this be a waste, cast aside like it doesn’t matter.

Because it does. It mattered to her.

She turned around, facing Rex, who stood beside the shuttle. They were leaving the planet before anyone came looking for them. She began her approach slowly, and Rex turned toward the shuttle as he climbed into the cockpit, starting it up for departure. Ahsoka paused, looking down onto the snowy ground not too far from Jesse’s grave…

A helmet. It was half buried in the snow, a familiar blue painted marking on the helm. She felt a familiar presence. One she had not felt for a long time.

“Commander!”

Ahsoka flinched, looking over at Rex.

“Shuttle’s all started. Let’s go!”

“Roger that,” she responded.

She looked back, seeing the helmet was gone. It was just the graves of the men, and their helmets swaying in the wind. She gave a small smile, turning toward the shuttle and hurrying to get aboard. Anyone would say it could have been anything. A flashback. A hallucination. The imagination.

  


But she knew. And she knew Rex knew.

  


But they never saw him again.


End file.
